


The Time He Stole

by minolyn



Series: Brothers in all Time [4]
Category: Ylvis
Genre: Babies, Gen, Insanity, Parenthood, Time Travel, brofeels, i can't believe i ended up writing this it's too insane, pregnancy mention, wives and kids mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-23 20:26:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6129049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minolyn/pseuds/minolyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is probably the last time Bård actively used the time machine, for the mess that he got himself (and Vegard) into was almost beyond recovery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: There might be mistakes when it comes to ages and stuff. It's been a long time since I was deep enough into the Ylvis fandom to remember things like when exactly some of their kids were born or how much sleep Vegard got the night of the 24h VG livestream (you'll see what I'm talking about later). So bear with me folks, and remember that this is a made up story about two brothers time travelling back and forth through their lives.

Blessed slumber at last. The baby was finally old enough to sleep through the night and he began to remember what it was like to sleep for more than three hours straight. He was almost aware of how far into unconsciousness he was slipping. A dream about work and children, attempting to juggle the two main elements of his life while one thing after another seemed to complicate his careful balance. At some point he and Bård arrived at a studio to do a TV interview, each of them balancing an infant on their knees as they answered questions about how they chose to dress their children. The stage they were on revolved in circles, so that anyone in the studio audience surrounding them could see their faces at some point. The constant monotonous motion made Vegard slightly queasy. While Bård was speaking, the child in his arms stared at Vegard, reaching its arms out to him and pleading.. something, he couldn’t quite understand what. He leaned in closer to hear the baby over Bård’s talking and it grabbed his shoulder, shaking him violently.

 

 

 

Vegard woke up with a start, so disoriented it took him a moment to recognize the ceiling of his own bedroom. Instinctively, his eyes shot a look at the crib on Helene’s side of the room, making sure they were both still there before turning to meet big, blue, tear filled eyes and adolescent Bård, crouching beside him, whispering as quietly as he could, so as not to wake anyone else in the room.

“Help me, Vegard! Please! You have to help me!”

He held a black haired baby in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

He was a tad older than Bård had intended, he could have gone back a couple of months further. The baby was probably closer to twelve months old, according to the book he'd been reading at the bookstore. He stood up on his stubby little feet with the help of the railing on his crib, his brown eyes staring up at him in wonderment. He was probably supposed to be asleep right now, it was dark outside and Bård could hear the TV on in the living room.  He was quite adorable, and Bård marveled at how like himself he looked, even at that age. 

"Well, come on little buddy." He said, and pulled the baby out of the crib. The heaviness of his dead weight surprised him and it took a few tries to get him situated comfortably on his hip. then he had to figure out how he was going to hold the time machine and spin the hourglass with only one hand. 

"Here." He tried to hand it to the baby, thinking that if he held it for him then all he would have to do is do the spinning. The child pawed at it curiously with his tiny hands but refused to grip it properly. He tried reaching around the babe's body, still supporting him with his arm, but the dratted thing kept getting in the way, touching his face and grabbing his lower lip.

"Stop that." Bård waved his hand away from nostrils, "we don't have time for this.."

The irony in his statement completely escaped him.  
Finally, he looked around and decided to sit on the floor, propping the baby in his lap and thus freeing both of his hands. On an impulse, he grabbed a nearby toy airplane and placed it in the tiny hands so he would have something to hold.

"Alright. Hold tight now." 

The baby made a small noise of displeasure, but Bård ignored it.

"We have a point to prove." And he gave the hourglass a good spin.


	3. Chapter 3

Vegard started crying the second the motion of time travel began. By the time they'd arrived at their destination he was wailing and squirming in Bård's hands.

"Oh no, come on now. It's all over now.." Bård tried to comfort him, stuffing the time rod as far into his back pocket as it would go. The baby had an iron grip on his shirt and kept kicking his legs in the air, Bård didn't know how to hold a baby like this.  With a quick look around he assessed that they were in a playground he knew in Bergen. That didn't seem right. It was early afternoon and there were several parents with their children roaming around the area, so he fit right in. One or two parents only glanced up for a second at the sound of Vegard's crying, but no one seemed to notice them appearing out of thin air.

But where would Vegard be in this scenario? They didn't have kids of their own yet.

"Shit!" Bård darted behind a tree at the sight of his own mother walking up to the playground with a stroller. He dared a peek and saw that she held the hand of a chubby cheeked little boy, who was staring warily around at the other children running around laughing, screaming and shouting. He looked like he didn't much want to be there, but his mother soon stopped and bent down to talk to him, pointing out what some of the other kids were doing, apparently trying to convince him to socialize. In the stroller was another boy, himself he recognized, straining against his safety buckle trying to see everything, apparently intrigued.

“Mmuh!” the baby in his arms suddenly squawked, drawing Bård's attention back to himself. Up until that moment he'd quieted down, he too curiously watching themselves entering the playground, somehow attuned to the necessity of secrecy from Bård’s behavior. But now Vegard recognized their mother and was reaching out to her with increasing urgency. The longer Bård hesitated, the more distressed the baby became, until he was crying and kicking his legs again.

“No, no, shh Vegard! She can't see us! Please stop..” Bård tried in vain to reason him, knowing how futile it was, and they were drawing attention to themselves again. It was only a matter of time before their mother would look up and notice them too. He pulled the time machine back out of his pocket and slung Vegard uncomfortably against his shoulder to be able to grip it with both hands. With a deafening wail ringing in his left ear, the world spun out of focus once more.


	4. Chapter 4

Bård could feel Vegard's disappointment in him in every moment they spent together, ever since they found out about Maria's pregnancy. While they were still deliberating whether or not to keep the baby, the level of irresponsibility to have even gotten into this situation, was something Vegard was having a hard time forgiving. They didn’t talk about it much, but it was always in the air when they were together, working on their upcoming show. He seemed to trust Bård less and less, insisting that he himself would take responsibility for anything that needed doing. Bård, having enough on his mind at the time, let him to it. He used the opportunity to focus more on Maria and the difficult decision they had to make about their lives.   
He loved her more than anything in the world, and he knew that they were destined to have children together at some point. But what sort of effect would having one now, of all times, have on their lives? They were both just at the start of their careers, barely out of high school. At the very least one of them would have to put theirs off if they chose to have this baby. Bård tried assuring her that, whatever she chose to do, he would stand by her 100% and do whatever she asked, but she would have none of it and insisted they had to make this decision together.

He wasn’t nearly as afraid of telling his parents about their decision, once it had been made, as he was of telling Vegard. He decided to tell them all together at a family dinner, figuring he would feel safer from him with the rest of them in the room as well. Their mother reacted practically, as she always did.   
“Okay. Then we will help you in any way we can.” She said, with neither a negative or a positive intonation. She was there for her son, whatever he did, and that was that. Their father chimed in in agreement and then inquired what this meant for his and Vegard’s stage performances.   
Bård glanced at his older brother as he began to answer, but had a hard time holding his ground against the piercing stare.  
“Well, it’s looking promising so far, so.. If Vegard’s up for it, of course, I figured I might be able to earn enough money to support Maria doing this.”  
The rest of the conversation at the dinner table took place mostly between the parents, Bård chiming in from time to time to answer a question, and the other two brothers keeping silent the whole time. Bård was unnerved by Vegard’s lack of input, because it told him nothing. It maddened him that he practically had to drag his thoughts out of him, whenever he was actually interested. This time he didn’t want to know enough to make him talk, but he wished he would anyway because it was important. Would Vegard have just been content to bottle up about the subject forever?

Bård had decided to stay in his old room at their parents’ house that night, not liking the idea of travelling together back to Vegard’s apartment, where he had been crashing these past few weeks. Vegard didn’t question that decision either. Bård had wandered off to get ready for bed, feeling rather drained, and was on his way to the kitchen for a glass of water when he heard hushed voices by the doorway.

“It’s all going to fall apart now, I don’t know who he thinks he’s kidding.”  
It was Vegard’s voice, and it was his mother who responded.

“That doesn’t have to be the case. He has you to help him.”

“But he’ll have a baby at home! What is he just going to leave Maria with it while we go on tour? And what will happen once this show is over?”

“We don’t know what will happen.”

“That’s right, we don’t know! It’s so fucking irresponsible to just.. Just decide to have a baby, before you’ve even started your life.”

“Different people start their lives in different ways, Vegard. This is how he chooses to start his.”

“The kid will be fucked up with a father like him.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake..”

“The bottom line is, either his career will suffer, and mine by extension, or his family will suffer. He can’t do both.”

“Plenty of people have careers and happy families, how much does it actually matter if he starts now or later? And if you’re so worried about your career, it never hurts to have a backup plan, in case you discover show business isn’t for you.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about.” Vegard said. Bård shifted on his bare feet while he listened.

“You’ll both be fine, darling. You just stay focused on making sure your show is a success, that’s the best way you can help him. Now, if you really intend to leave tonight, I suggest you go now before it starts raining again.”

Bård heard him mumble something and the door open. A gust of chilly wind made it’s way around the corner and ran a shiver through his body.

“Safe journey. I love you!” He heard his mother call out before she shut the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A year later, and this story is finally making a come-back! A lot more is written already, but I'm still missing a few chunks that won't allow me to publish the rest just yet.   
> I'd love to know what you think, in the meantime. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The following takes place on the night of the 24 hour VG livestream in 2014, minutes Before Magnus came in to throw a bucket of ice water in Vegard's face.

Dark. Bedroom, this time. Vegard squealed his displeasure immediately when they appeared, and Bård saw someone shift under a large white duvet on the bed. The room was small, impersonal. It had occurred to him that this must be a hotel room just as an adult Vegard lifted his head from a pillow.

“What the fuck.. I just went to sleep, it can’t be t- Bård?!” Vegard mumbled, squinting in the dark, until he finally realized who was standing there.

“Vegard, I..” Bård tried to explain, hiking the baby up to sit more steady on his hip while he kept groping at his shirt, voicing his discontent. But Vegard had stumbled out of bed, checking his phone and trying to take in the pair of them. He seemed practically alarmed, a reaction he had yet to have gotten from his sudden appearance.

“What are you doing here? Why the _fuck_ are you time travelling again? Who is.. Is that..?”

“Vegard, I need your help. I can explain..”

The phone in the man's hand started beeping. An alarm clock, perhaps? He shut it off and turned back to Bård. “No, you can't explain. Not now. People are going to be in here with cameras in a minute, I need to.. God, WHY do you do this to me, why?!”

Vegard scrambled around the room until he found a t shirt and pulled it on, then shoved Bård into the bathroom, “just stay here, while I deal with the fucking wake up call. Once the camera is gone, I'll deal with you and.. Whatever it is you think you're doing. Just don't come out until I say so, and be quiet!”  
He took one look at the toddler Bård held, knowing full well who it was but not, for the life of him, knowing why he was there, and then shut the door on them.

Baby Vegard, feeding off of his older self’s emotions, was just as agitated. He looked on the verge of another crying fit, and Bård was almost at his wit’s end. For a while, all they could hear was Vegard milling about the room. Bård tried his best to distract him with things he found in the bathroom, eventually managing to keep him quietly interested in his toy plane lifting off from the counter and landing in the toilet water. Then suddenly there was a shout outside, the sound of splashing water and like someone spilled a bag of marbles on the floor, and little Vegard's face was scrunching up again, turning red. He was about to cry, and there were people talking in the next room. Vegard had said something about a camera.

“Alright, okay. Here we go Vegard, just hold it in a bit longer..” Bård hurriedly rearranged him in his arms and spun the hourglass on the time machine, just as Vegard found his voice again.

 

* * *

 

 

What was going on? Why was this happening? How could it be that on his very first try he’d managed to reach a time he more or less intended to pick Vegard up, but now the time rod seemed to be failing him again and again, sending them to and fro, up and down the timeline of their lives with no rhyme or reason? It was like the thing was out of control, suddenly out of sync with the narrative of Bård’s intentions. 

They found themselves in any number of scenarios, none of them suitable for an extended stay, and none of them being 18 year old Bård’s own time, to which he had meant to return. Half of the time, they didn’t even properly encounter themselves in the time they arrived at. He always found them somewhere, performing, eating, travelling.. One time he’d just spotted them walking out of a house and into a big black van with a camera crew, so he couldn’t approach them, and they just drove off and that was that. Whenever they managed to appear at a time when they were in the vicinity of children, their own or just out in public where other people with strollers and baby bags wandered about, Bård did his best to snatch something for Vegard like a pacifier or a jar of baby food. He wanted to stay and watch, take in the sight of them parenting, but the time was never right, and Vegard seemed to be doing his best to make as much of a nuisance of himself as he could.

Bård was beginning to think that this journey would have been a lot more successful if he had just travelled to the future himself and interviewed an older version about parenthood. Dragging a baby along everywhere just made everything so much more difficult, he was beginning to forget what his original plan even was. Why  _ did _ he take this 12 month old Vegard with him? What exactly was he trying to accomplish?


	6. Chapter 6

When their surroundings re-materialized again, Bård nearly collapsed to the floor. Surely, it wasn't good for them, so much time travel and so frequently. He was feeling shaky and dizzy, craving just a short pause to properly feel the ground beneath his feet again, but no place was good for long, and no time was the one he intended to end up in. They were in an open kitchen behind an island counter, facing a large living room. The light through the windows was fading. Dusk, nearly dark. The house seemed silent and empty, so Bård chanced turning on a lamp in the sitting area. It took him a while to figure out, there was a kind of touch pad thing instead of an ordinary switch. He sat down wearily on the large, poofy couch, situated Vegard in his lap and shut his eyes, just for a couple of seconds, before properly taking in his surroundings.  
This was definitely far into the future. The changes weren't huge, but they were many. Everything looked just a bit different, especially the electronics. It was clean and organized, no children's stuff anywhere. No wait, there they were; A cabinet in the far corner with colorful toys and games for kids. It reminded him of their grandparents’ place. Could this be their parents’ house then? Or had he traveled so far into the future that he’d reached a time in which he himself was a grandfather? He stared at an antique looking vase full of dried (or fake) flowers, resting atop an expensive looking piano. The place smelled very faintly of old people, and something about it unnerved him. Something was odd. He glanced sideways at a stairway that twisted up around a corner to the second level of the house, probably where the bedrooms were. Up until that moment, Bård had been pretty certain that the house was empty. Could one of them be upstairs, however?

He realized, then, that Vegard was being uncharacteristically quiet. He looked down at him. The black haired baby was staring at him, and something about his eyes ran a chill down Bård's spine. His eyes were glassy, shining. Was he about to cry? The rest of his face showed no indication of it, but out came a single tear, trickling silently down his small round cheek unchecked. Still he didn't cry, he only stared. He still looked and felt like Vegard, but.. Like he knew something, sensed something that Bård could not.

“What's the matter?” Bård asked.

The baby raised one hand and touched it to Bård's face, awkwardly catching the corner of his mouth.

“Bå..” he said. His voice was that of a baby, but loaded with emotion and meaning. Bård had never heard a baby sound like that before.

He was scaring him now in earnest. There was no reason for Vegard to know his name at that age, Bård wasn't even a thought in their parents’ minds back in his time. As far as Vegard could know, he was being kidnapped by a random stranger. Which was exactly how he’d been behaving throughout the experience, until they had arrived in this house.  
Vegard blinked slowly. Bård could feel him getting heavier in his lap.

“Are you sleepy?” he asked, watching the baby gradually droop, his hand falling away from Bård's face, his head falling to one side. Bård had to adjust his hold on him, otherwise he would have toppled over the edge of the sofa like a rag doll. Was this how babies fell asleep? It was terrifying. Bård's heart hammered in his chest, he wanted to shake the baby awake, but he was awake. His eyes were only half closed, still staring at him with an inexplicable mixture of complex emotions that a baby should not be capable of experiencing.  
His eyes drew back at the dark stairway. Something was happening. Something was happening to Vegard right now and he had the terrible notion that the answer for it was up those stairs. But fear, terrible fear kept him rooted to the spot. He had never been so afraid of something as ordinary as that stairway in all his life. Whatever was happening, Bård felt deep down in his soul that he did not want to know for sure what it was.

He checked on Vegard again. He looked unconscious, his head nestled safely in the crook of his elbow, the rest of his limp body sprawled across his lap. He was still breathing; shallow, almost imperceptible, and as relieved as Bård was to have some quiet at last, he was overcome by an impulse to get them both out of there, immediately. He carefully raised Vegard's body to lean against his shoulder, meeting no protest or resistance, stood up, took a sharp breath and gave the hourglass yet another spin.


	7. Chapter 7

Another dark living room. Vegard stirred and whimpered, waking up from the discomfort of time travel, but Bård hurried to shush him with his pinky finger pressed to the babe’s mouth, bouncing lightly on his feet and swaying from side to side. It was very clearly the middle of the night now, and this house felt far from empty. The last thing he needed right now was for him to wake up and start crying again. He examined the child’s body language. He was still sleepy and kept his eyes closed, but he looked… alive again. His breathing was normal, his features soft and animated. Bård suffered a lump in his throat so painful, it brought tears to his eyes. He couldn't help feeling that he’d almost lost him somehow. He didn't understand what had happened back there in the empty house, and he hoped he never would. One thing he was certain of now, however; This needed to stop. He had to find a way to take Vegard back.

He looked around while he pulled a previously stolen pacifier out of his pocket and placed it between Vegard’s lips to latch onto instead of his finger. This place was very stylish, which came in odd contrast with the toys and obvious baby stuff lying around in various places.  His arms and back were aching from having carried Vegard around for what felt like days. He was so tired and hungry. Having bounced back and forth in time so much, he had no clue even how long they’d been at it. He had no idea how to get home, the time machine was failing him again and again, but one thing it did do is always bring them somewhere in the vicinity of wherever that time’s Bård or Vegard happened to be. That much he could trust, at least. So the question remained; whose house was this?  
Maybe there was something he could take from the kitchen. The sight of a baby bottle drying on a dish rack and a can of formula powder on the white marble counter relieved him. Whoever’s house this was, there was very clearly a baby in it, which meant that there would be someone well equipped to help him. He found an elegant looking bowl of fruit on another counter and one-handedly dissected a banana, shoving it into his mouth in desperation. It was nowhere near enough, but he didn’t want to make too noticeable a dent in the bowl’s arrangement. He tried to take a quick peek in the fridge, but the light stirred the baby in his arms again so he shut it. He felt frantic and constantly on the verge of tears. What was he supposed to do when he inevitably wakes up hungry and needing to eat?

He kicked off his shoes and made his way silently through the house. He decided he’d go for the doors that were ajar before he’d try the ones that were closed all the way, hoping to avoid any unnecessary noise. He didn’t know whose house he’d rather this be, his own or Vegard’s. The first room he tried was in fact a bathroom. The movement of his reflection in the mirror across the room startled him for a moment before he realized what it was. His hair was all over the place, and his eyes were wide like those of a frightened animal. He looked very weird with a sleeping toddler in his arms. He moved on. 

The next room had the immediate appearance of a parent’s bedroom. There was a closet, a dresser, a makeup table with another mirror, a changing table and a crib by the window. Two people seemed to be sleeping soundly in the large bed near the center of the room. He ventured to one side and his heart started racing even faster at the sight of black curls crowning the unconscious features. He felt as if he was about to try and wake a sleeping bear, he was so scared. 

_ ‘It’s just Vegard.’ _ he told himself as he watched the man sleep. Both Vegards eerily tilted their heads and swallowed simultaneously, making Bård almost jump out of his skin. He couldn’t take much more of this. He had no choice. He needed help.

  
“Vegard… Vegard, help me, Vegard! Please! You have to help me!” He whispered as quietly as he could, shaking him by the shoulder.


	8. Chapter 8

So there he was, Vegard ylvisåker, bottle feeding none other than himself at 3:36 in the morning, with formula he’d originally purchased for his youngest of three children. He tried not to dwell too much on the bizarreness of his situation, preserve what sanity he had left from having to go through life with Bård and a time machine. Instead he stared long and hard at his little brother, once again eighteen and terrified, pleading for his compassion. When he’d shaken him awake roughly ten minutes earlier, the first thing Vegard did was take his toddler self from his brother’s arms and usher them out to the living room without so much as a word. It was far enough there from the bedrooms that they could talk quietly and not disturb anyone.

Bård looked malnourished and sleep deprived, quite like a father of a newborn baby, only the baby he was holding was neither newborn nor his own. He was in the middle of babbling some sort of confused telling of how they’d ended up at his house in the middle of the night, when little Vegard began to rub his eyes and whimper half heartedly. Vegard, knowing by now that he shared an existential connection with any version of himself from a different point in time, sensed almost immediately that the babe was hungry.

“So what, exactly, was the original plan here?” he asked at length with an air of incredulity, after they’d both silently listened for a while to the soft suckling noises the toddler made at the mouth of the bottle. Bård drew in a deep, shuddering breath, pulling his shoulders forward and exhaled with a shake of his head, “I honestly don't know anymore.”

“You know you're going to have to do better than that, Bård.”

“Maria's pregnant. We decided to keep the baby and we’re.. Scared, but happy.. about it. But you… you-you're so convinced I'm going to fail, that I'm going to let everyone down-”

Vegard shh’d him with a warning nod in the direction of the hallway leading to the bedrooms full of sleeping family members, because Bård’s voice was getting louder the more he talked. After a moment’s silence, Bård spat out in a hoarse whisper.

“I just couldn't handle your stupid disappointed face anymore!”

“So you decided to kidnap me?!” Vegard hissed back.

“I was just gonna..” he trailed off, dragging a hand across his exhausted face, “look, I never said this was a good idea.”

“Oh… oh god, wait a minute. I remember this.” Vegard squeezed his eyes shut, a vague memory of a hotel room several months ago resurfacing from the depths of his subconscious, “I’d blocked this out, hadn’t I? You were gone so fast, I think I hoped I’d dreamed it. You were there in my hotel room, weren’t you? With him? Right before Magnus came in and drenched me in fucking ice water…”

“Is that what all the shouting was about..?” Bård asked meekly. He didn’t know who Magnus was, but that was irrelevant.

“And in that comic book Museum in Brandbu, when I was puking in the bathroom..”

“Yeah, that was… clearly a bad time.” Bård said, looking a bit ashamed.

“Jesus, Bård. How long have you been at this?”

“I have no idea..” Bård answered, sounding defeated. He didn’t meet his older brother’s eyes. Memory after memory of strange, unclear sightings of a young Bård with a black haired baby in his arms, appearing and disappearing, came flooding in. No wonder he was so disoriented half the time. It happened just sporadically enough for him to forget between encounters, writing them off as a strange case of dé·jà vu, an illness induced hallucination, or just thinking he recognizes a familiar face on a complete stranger.

Well, that was one life’s mystery solved, at least. But yet another remained. He shook his head in an attempt to clear it a bit, set the empty bottle down on the coffee table and propped the babe up against his shoulder, patting his back gently. At least some things stay simple, whether you’re taking care of your own offspring or yourself.

Why did he keep doing this? Why was Bård so drawn to the time machine, using it again and again even though they had agreed not to, even though it had done nothing but get them into trouble time and time again. Always showing up out of nowhere at the worst possible time with a sob story about their relationship and expecting… What? Advice? Guidance? Vegard already WAS his big brother, why didn't he just talk to the one he had in his own time instead of looking for some kind of wisdom in his future?  
If Vegard was to be truly honest about it, however, he could answer that question himself. He was not always hugely accessible as a source of empathy or comfort. He hoped that he had gotten better at it over the years, but there were definitely times when his behavior was such that it was obvious Bård could not feel comfortable approaching him with his troubles.   
Then he realized something he had been struggling to comprehend for years. Bård came to the future when he needed reassurance that it would eventually be better than his present. Whenever it looked to him as if their bond as brothers was somehow in jeopardy, he felt the need to skip ahead in time to confirm that they do indeed make it through somehow. There was a strange optimism in that. Vegard only ever saw time travel as a problem to be solved, wanting to know as little as possible about the future for fear of finding out something he shouldn't, wanting to maintain the natural progression of time as much as possible. But who’s to say what ‘natural' progression is? Perhaps, for Bård, this was the natural way things needed to occur for him. This still didn’t explain why he had chosen to take a toddler Vegard along for the ride, though.   
Just as his head was beginning to spin the way it did when he spent too much time thinking about the implications and paradox of time travel, a small sound drew both their attention in the direction of the hallway.

“Papa?”

Mads. Momentarily, Vegard was torn between needing to hide the mis-timed brothers from his little boy's sight, and not wanting to quickly give himself back to Bård and potentially cause unwanted alarm. He was only Four and it was the middle of the night, how much of this was he really going to remember? Vegard elected to keep the drowsy babe in his arms and approached his son, kneeling down to his eye level.

“What’s the matter, buddy? Why are you up?”

Mads stared vacantly at the baby in his father’s arms, clearly not his little brother. But he blinked and looked up when a large hand waved in front of his eyes.

“You okay?” Vegard asked again.

“I need to pee.” The boy said at last, and his dad smiled and placed a loving hand on the back of his head, lightly caressing his little curls.

“Well done for waking up in time! Do you need help?”

“No.”

“Okay, off you go then. I’ll be out here, if you need me.” Vegard said and gave him a little nudge towards the bathroom. The boy said nothing, only sparing another glance at the baby before wandering off back down the hall. Once he saw the door to the bathroom close, Vegard turned back to Bård, who had, until that moment, apparently been hiding behind the sofa. He looked an amusing mixture of mortified and fascinated.

“It’s okay,” Vegard waved a dismissive hand, feigning more ease than he actually felt, “weird shit happens around here all the time. They know it’s always part of ‘Daddy’s work’. He might not even remember that this even happened tomorrow morning.”

“How many kids do you have?” Bård asked, still looking at where the child stood moments ago.

“Three. A girl and two boys.”

“Wow…”

“Yeah.” Vegard chuckled.

“What about me?”

Vegard looked up at the ceiling, perhaps contemplating whether or not to answer.

“You have.. Three as well.”

“Jesus christ..”

“Yeah, you never really could be much bothered with protection.”

“Me? What about you?”

“All of mine were planned.” Vegard laughed, just as they heard the toilet flush. Vegard then moved forward and made to give the baby back to Bård, “Look, just.. Handle this for a while longer, I want to go make sure he goes back to sleep.”

Before Bård could react, he was alone in the dark living room with the baby Vegard in his arms again. With one ear he listened to the reassuring breathing of the sleeping infant whose head rested comfortably on his shoulder, pushing away the frightening memory of their previous time jump. He knew he wouldn’t be telling Vegard about it. With his other available ear he listened to his soft voice as he spoke with his son about going back to bed, asking him questions like if he was thirsty or if he wanted to be tucked in again. It was still hard for Bård to imagine Vegard as a father. From what little he had to go on, he even seemed to be a pretty good one. Seeing him and how he was with his son, the very picture of patience and attentiveness, seemed so at odds with the 21 year old Vegard he had at home. He supposed that he must have grown into that kind of person along the way. But then, what was Bård doing, not giving himself that kind of time? He was barely an adult yet, and expecting himself to be able to be a father? Vegard said he had three kids eventually. But he wasn’t sure what year it was, and whether the first of those three was indeed the one Maria was carrying in his own time and.. Oh god, surely Maria was the mother of all three of those children? She wouldn’t leave him eventually, would she?

By the time Vegard reappeared in the doorway, Bård had practically worked himself up into a panic attack. He was staring wide-eyed into nothingness, fears racing through his mind faster than his thoughts could process, swaying absentmindedly from side to side under the assumption that it would keep the baby Vegard in his arms soothed and asleep. He only snapped out of it when his nostrils caught the scent of food. Vegard had made him a sandwich in the kitchen and was holding up the plate in front of him patiently. He could smell ketchup and some kind of meat in it. But there was something more important than food he had to address first.

“Vegard, those three kids. They’re all with Maria, right?” He looked his older brother in the eye, full of dread, but determined to get the truth out of him.

“What? Yes, of course.” Vegard’s facial features scrunched up with incredulity, apparently thinking the question ridiculous, “Couldn’t pry you away from her side if we tried. Now, you look like you’re about ready to pass out, why don’t we do a switch?”

The transfer went smoothly and Bård devoured the sandwich, as well as the olives and sliced tomato that were on the plate with it, while Vegard leaned back into the sofa cushions with a sigh, letting little Vegard sprawl comfortably across his chest, his t-shirt scrunched up in one of his little fists.

“This is so fucking weird, Bård.” He mumbled. Bård glanced at him and saw that his eyes were closed. He didn’t look angry or upset. In fact, he looked pretty relaxed, if anything. As if he’d just accepted the situation for what it was. Bård finished chewing his mouthful and swallowed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Mm..”

Silence reigned. Bård chewed on the remainder of his food and Vegard breathed so deeply he could have been mistaken for asleep. Perhaps he really had dozed off at some point, the hush lasted for so long. It was the middle of the night, after all.

“I remember the first time I saw you with Sofie…” Vegard’s voice sounded like he was far away, speaking from within a dream. Was Sofie the name they had chosen for their baby?

“We were still in the hospital. Maria was asleep, resting. The baby was in the bassinet by her bed when I had gone out to get us all some tea, but I guess she woke up or something because when I got back, you were holding her. You didn’t even notice that I came in, you were so.. Captivated. Like nothing else in the world existed besides Sofie, in that moment. You looked fucking terrified, but also amazed and happy, like ‘holy shit, we _made_ this?!’, you know?” Vegard smiled to himself, his eyes still closed. Bård tried to imagine it with him. Vegard will be there for him, when his baby is born. That thought moved him just as much as the rest of his story.

“And Sofie was looking up at you with her big, beautiful eyes, like she was just as amazed by you as you were with her. And at that moment, I kind of knew.” Vegard finally opened his eyes and met his brother’s gaze.

“What did you know?” Bård asked under his breath, almost afraid that by speaking he would cut short his experience of this rare side of Vegard.

“That you would be okay.” Vegard answered with a reassuring smile, “I don’t know why. I could never do what you did, at that age. And sure, it was hard for you, for all of us. But you did it, and better than anyone could have expected. I know I couldn’t be prouder of the way you raise your children. I’m sure that if we called you up right now and asked, you would say that you don’t regret a thing. I mean, after you threatened to kill me for calling you at this ungodly hour.”

Bård laughed, but tears were streaming down his face. He didn’t even notice when they’d started. He was so tired. For once, Vegard didn’t pass judgement. He just watched him quietly until he calmed down enough to be able to speak.

“I can’t work the time machine right.” He said, “I don’t know how to get back.”

“That’s okay. I do.”

“Can you take me..” Bård hesitated, but resolved to ask anyway, “can we go see that moment? The one you just told me about?”

Vegard closed his eyes again and shook his head, “No, no way. I wouldn't dare ruin that moment for you.”

“Why would it ruin..?”

“Jesus, Bård. Some things are worth experiencing just the once.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon my ego, but I simply love that last line.  
> Thank you for your attention.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter went from non-existent (even in theory) to being revised like 5 times and I can't stand to proofread it anymore. If there are mistakes or plot holes, you are welcome to speculate your own solutions to it in the comments. 
> 
> So here we are. The end of the Brothers in all Time series.  
> It's been a pleasure, ladies, and a real headache.

When Bård vanished into the darkness of the hardwood floor, Vegard glanced out his living room window at the slowly brightening sky peeking through the trees. He had accompanied Bård to return his poor twelve month old self back to his rightful crib (mostly to make sure he would indeed do it), and then they came back here before Vegard sent him off once more, spinning the hourglass himself so that Bård wouldn’t get lost in time again. He had had another chat with him about not using the thing anymore, but Vegard now knew better than to trust his nodding little brother. Surely, Bård still had it stashed away somewhere. He couldn’t recall any more times he could have used it, but then, he never really remembered any time travel experiences until they actually happened.

He checked the clock on the wall beside the entrance. Still too early to call him. He succumbed to a yawn and stretched his arms over his head, feeling something crack loose between his shoulder blades. _Getting older...  
_ If he was lucky, he could perhaps sneak in a couple more hours of sleep before any of the children woke up.

 

* * *

 

He came to visit Bård at home late that night, after he knew at least some family members would be asleep. Maria answered the door for him, already in her pajamas,  and he gave her an affectionate hug when he was invited in. Bård wandered into the room and joined in their pleasant chat for a while, before the brothers excused themselves to the garden out back.

“Nah, there’s no discipline anymore.” Bård shrugged. Vegard had asked whether all of his kids were already in bed, since he hadn’t been greeted by any of them, but apparently Sofie now considered herself exempt from the ‘bed time’ rule. “She’ll say she’s going to sleep soon, but her light is usually still on when I drag myself to bed, no matter what I say to her.”

“Teenagers have their own sleep schedule, I suppose.” Vegard remarked, stuffing his hands in his pockets. His eldest was yet to give him the experience to back his words.

“I guess. As long as she’s not harming herself or losing her grades, who am I to really complain?”

“I’m sure you and Maria would know if something was up, anyway.”

“Mmyeah.” Bård agreed noncommittally.

They reached the far end of the garden and walked along the hedge in comfortable silence, until they reached a swinging wooden bench.

“Bård, I’m going to tell you a story. I’ve told it to you before, and I really hope this is the last time. After that you’re going to help me find something and get rid of it.” Vegard began cryptically, his eyes examining the grass at their feet while he spoke, missing Bård’s mixed expression of confusion and amusement.

“If you’ve told it to me before, why do you have to tell me again?”

“Because, for some reason, you keep forgetting it.”

“Maybe it’s a boring story, then.”

“I promise you, it’s not.”

“Sounds like you should stop trying, is all I’m saying.”

Both brothers laughed and sat down on the bench. It creaked softly whenever one of them pushed it too far back, but it wasn’t irritating.

“Just give me one more go at it, help me out and then I’ll let you forget about it forever.”

Bård sighed, but agreed. So Vegard told him, all over again, about their discovery of the time machine. He explained his theory on why they kept forgetting about it and their out-of-time encounters, the mind desperately trying to preserve itself from cracking under the weight of the paradox. He told him what happened that morning, and Bård admitted to it all sounding strangely familiar, like a half forgotten dream.

“There’s one thing I think I remember…” Bård began, but soon regretted saying so.   
He remembered the empty house, Vegard being strange and quiet in his arms. He remembered the fear, having almost grasped what was happening, but stopping himself before he could, not wanting to know. He remembered next to nothing about the encounter Vegard had just described, but he remembered this like one remembers an old nightmare. He remembered that this was the real reason he’d stopped using the time machine, because Vegard’s arguments never truly convinced him.

Vegard waited for him to finish his sentence, but didn’t pry when he chose not to.

“So where is it now?” He asked finally. Bård narrowed his eyes, trying to remember.

“It’s gotta be in some old box in the garage.” he said.

“What, you just leave it there for anyone to find?”

“Nobody looks through those things, even I don’t remember what’s in them anymore, they just move as is, from one house to the next.” Bård shrugged.

“No, Bård, we can’t have that. One of the girls could find it, get themselves into the same kind of trouble we did. Do you want that?”

“Well…” Bård tilted his head playfully, teasing his brother with the thought.

“No, come on. That’s it. I’m taking that damn thing away from you.” Vegard was smiling, but he got up resolutely and made for the gate to the front lawn.

“Wha- seriously? I was just kidding! You don’t have to fucking confiscate it.” Bård got up after him.

“I think I do, actually. You’ve more than proven that you can’t be trusted with it.”

“I never used it after this morning, how can you…”

They argued their way to the garage, turning on the light and surveying the hopeless looking piles of junk within. A broken down lawn mower, piles of wires and cables for god knows what, old furniture waiting to be thrown out and mountains of boxes, very few of them actually labelled. Bård tried to suggest they look for it some other time, but Vegard insisted that it couldn’t wait. So they rooted through box after box, finding memories and rubbish lumped together in seemingly random combinations. They’d made it through about six boxes and two hours of searching until they finally happened upon a relatively small, unlabeled box that was actually full of Vegard’s old collection of pictures, postcards, and newspaper cutouts, all having to do with aviation devices and technology.

“Why do you have this?” Vegard asked, removing a rubber band from a stack of photos he’d taken of planes and helicopters that flew over their settlement during their second stay in Africa.

“This is it! It’s got to be in here, I must have figured that no one would bother looking through this crap!”

Vegard let the insult slide and shoved a hand deeper into the pile, fingering around to try and find something metallic in between all pieces of paper. Sure enough, his knuckles brushed against something hard and smooth, and he took hold, yanking it out of the box with a “Hah!”

They high fived each other triumphantly and both held the time machine, examining it with reverence for all the now vivid memories the mere sight of it was bringing back. They were quiet, each in his own mind with his own version of their mixed up past. Bård remembered a lot of it with fondness; his first time playing with a smartphone, getting to see Vegard sing on stage with a live band through the eyes of a child, a playful touch of red paint to his nose, a nice lunch of burgers and fries by the Stavanger Marina, the catharsis of seeing Ka Kan Eg Gi Deg performed by the both of them on equal ground, even getting to hold Vegard as a baby… His brother probably wouldn’t want to hear it, but he was glad for every single time he had used this wondrous, mysterious machine. It had played a vital part in shaping who he had become. He imagined that he could not possibly have been as brave and laid back in his approach to their career, or life in general, had he not had the privilege of witnessing how it all worked out in the end. Sure, it had gotten him into trouble now and then, but what was life if not a series of challenges to be overcome? And overcome they did, marvelously, and always together.

Only now, the future was a complete mystery again. There wasn’t much to dread anymore. They were well off, stable home life, financial security, even some kind of international fame to their names. Still… was this it? Had their lives reached their peak? Was it all downhill from here? Suddenly, Bård was unnerved by the thought of an unclear future. The itch to know was returning. He looked up at Vegard, who was still lost in his own thoughts, a rather blank expression on his face.

“Fancy one last spin?” He asked quietly. Vegard’s eyes shifted to meet his. For a moment they were frozen like that, and then Bård felt the time machine being pulled out of his grip and stuffing it back into the box.

 _‘He’s right, of course.’_ Bård told himself. He really couldn’t be trusted with the time machine. Even though it had been years, though he had had his own very real taste of the potential damage time travel could do, fully understanding now that some parts of the future were better left unknown in advance. Despite all that, there he was considering violating the natural order of things yet again.

“Why _did_ you do it? Do you even remember?” Vegard asked, that deep crease between his eyebrows expressing his puzzlement as he found the lid to the cardboard box and closed it over the opening.

Bård leaned back on both his hands, stretching his legs through the rubble on the floor they sat on, and heaved a deep sigh. If there was ever a time to answer this question, it was now. Having seen and touched the time machine brought everything back more clearly than it had ever been, and probably would ever be again.

“I was.. Completely panicked.” He mused, every now and then making eye contact with his brother while he found the words to explain the dumbest, most rash decision he’d made in his life, “I was so mad at you for having zero faith in me and my ability to be a father at 19. I mean, I didn’t have a whole lot of faith in myself, obviously, I was terrified. But you were always the ‘sure, we can!’ guy, you know? You almost never thought something we wanted to do was too crazy to at least try, up until that point anyway. And then, when I needed your faith and ‘can do’ attitude the most, I suddenly didn’t have it. Without that, I guess I felt that I couldn’t stand a chance.”

Bård laughed at himself, shutting his eyes tight before he went on, “and one day, I think we were arguing about Prompa til Dør..” Vegard scoffed, “and at some point you said _‘You’re just hell bent on ruining absolutely everything, aren’t you?’_ , and that.. Really got to me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just remember thinking I had to find a way to prove to you that you can rely on me. That I know what I’m doing and that I can handle the show and parenthood and.. All of it. I needed to gain your faith somehow.”

Vegard listened quietly, watching his brother talk. A corner of his mouth stretched into his cheek. Not quite a smile, for this was not really something to smile at.

“I tried to think of a way to show you that I could handle a baby, and prove that that baby would turn out fine. And my first thought thought was of you. You were the only example I could think of, of someone who had grown up, practically into adulthood, as successfully as one could ask for.”

Vegard averted his gaze then, electing to stare at the floor instead. He was never very good at taking in compliments, least of all ones coming from Bård. Bård made no secret of his admiration of him in their teen years, but it had been a long time since he’d heard this kind of talk from him as an adult.

“I figured that if you were the way you were, there was nothing I could really do to you in the past to mess that up, because if I had then we’d already know it, wouldn’t we? I got into my head this completely bananas idea to go get you as a baby and then bring you back to our time, and.. Hell, I don’t know, I guess take care of you a bit in front of you, so you’d see that I knew my stuff? Like I said, completely bananas. And in the end, my theory wasn’t even correct. My plan fell apart and instead of teaching you a lesson, I ended up learning one myself, yet again.”

Vegard looked at him again, but Bård was staring ahead at some fixed point behind him. “Theory?”

“I.. think I very nearly did mess you up. I think it was just luck that nothing irreversible happened.” Bård kept his words intentionally vague. Vegard still didn’t need to know about that.

“Or.. maybe it wasn’t luck. Maybe you were just being a good parent.”

Bård met his brother’s gaze, saw the smile on his face and couldn’t help reciprocating a little bit. It seemed an odd thing for Vegard to conclude without knowing the circumstances of Bård's actions, but Vegard didn't seem to care. Vegard never wanted to know more than was absolutely necessary when it came to time travel. If Bård wasn’t telling him something, it was probably for the best. He did have faith in him, after all. They let the moment stay for a while, until Vegard finally straightened up and broke eye contact once more.

“I’m going to take this with me.” Vegard stated with an air of finality, thumping a hand on either side of the box. Bård nodded.

“Okay, but then we should label it, because Helene does go through your stuff sometimes.”

“Sure. Do you have a marker?”

“Should, somewhere around here..”

A few minutes later Bård sat back down on the floor with a black marker in his hand, and without consulting first, leaned in and scribbled on the box the words:

 

**Warning: Vegard’s boring crap**

 

Vegard scoffed, “Is that absolutely necessary?”

“Now no one but you will ever open it.” he replied simply.

Vegard loaded the box in the trunk of his car and said goodnight to his brother. He had initially intended to drive by some secluded sea bank, toss the time rod into deep water and be done with it for good. But in the end he made it all the way home, parked in the driveway and unloaded the box as it was in his own basement. Something deep down in his gut told him that he shouldn’t get rid of the time machine just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, compliments and over-analysis are all welcome!  
> I want to know what you think, and as always, thank you for taking the time to read my stories. <3


End file.
